Things that are very wrong right now:
1. I am fat and I feel so ugly for some reason
2. I feel really guilty about last night. I made out with Mark, my ex boyfriend. We only broke up cause he was going to fire college in southern florida and he came back for the day yesterday. I was home alone, and he just stopped by. I was online so he couldn't call first. I was in my big baggy black sweat pants and a huge red sweatshirt. No make-up. Hair soaking wet cause I had just taken a bath. I was talking to him and he moved over to the couch where I was sitting and we cuddled and watched tv for a little while (***missed that***) and...oh my god...I just haven't done anything with anyone in so long. It's been a month and a half since me and Mike were together. I wasn't gonna do it...then when he was about to leave, ou the door, we hugged goodbye. I couldn't help it, I gave him a peck on the lips. Just to see what he'd do. He was like...don't kiss me, it makes me want to kiss you back...we moved into the living room, to the couch, it was so nice. I honeslty really just wanted him to stay the night so he could cuddle with me and we could fall asleep together. I miss that. I miss going to my ex's house and spending the night and feeling really cared about...he didn't call me today. I didn't really expect him to. I guess if he did I'd almost feel overwhelmed cause I am the type of perosn that needs space..but I feel weird. I don't know if I want him or just someone to be with.
I have a feeling that It's the latter.
3. My anatomy class, my teacher assisting class, my spanish class, school in general. My grades. I'm so fucking stressed about everything about abso-lute-ly everything!!! It's killing me. All I want to do is stay home tomorrow.
4. I feel really bad about myself. I feel lonely, I feel dumb, I feel worthless, I feel direspected by everyone...I feel like shit. I'm all emotional, I'm a fucking mess, my stomach hurts and I'm bloated, I am worn out.
I just need to fast. I have to fast. I am fasting as of right now. Liquid no calorie fucking fast. Feel my rath therapist. Fuck the fucking therapy I have been fucking forced into.
-krista | 
